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| Everything on this cover is accurate. |
Directed by: Jordan Downey
Produced by: Kevin Stewart, Jordan Downey
Written by: Brad Schulz, Tony Wilson, Grant Yaffee, Kevin Stewart, Jordan Downey
Budget: $3,500
Starring: Wanda Lust, Chuck Lamb, Ryan Francis, Aaron Carlson, General Bastard, Lance Prdmor, Natasha Cordova, Lindsey Anderson
We start with a shot of a woman's naked breast, which belongs to a topless pilgrim as she's chased and murdered by an evil turkey. The first line of the movie? "Nice tits, bitch."
A Cabin-in-the-Woods full of friends are looking forward to enjoying Thanksgiving break when they learn about an evil turkey given sinister life through Native American necromancy. This zombie turkey, named Turkie, appears every few centuries to murder every white person he sees.
Ultimately, ThanksKilling feels like an homage to b-movie slasher holiday movies, and is exactly as ridiculous as that would seem.
The Good
Primarily, the movie revels in its tropes, despite the fact that it's very formulaic. The story gleefully movies from one horror trope to the other but escalates everything a step or two. Characters at one point refer to each other by their archetypes, there's the standard camp fire story that turns out true, and each character has a perfect role to fill. The thing that stops this one from being derivative is that it never takes itself too seriously and will turn to the camera and wink when things are starting to get just a little too familiar. That duty generally comes up whenever Turkie is on screen.
The tropes it plays straight are played wonderfully straight. Turkie's weaknesses are listed in an ancient book the characters get from the library, there's a best-friend-died montage (complete with original song), and various other plot points found in the genre are slapped on screen one after the other. Highlight for spoilers: This is another horror comedy where there's a sex scene between the monster and a character, but yes, this time it's with a turkey.
The main characters are a collection of standard horror movie folks, and the actors all play into the roles perfectly, though I wouldn't necessarily call them quality performances. The nerd is properly sniveling, the main character appropriately jockish, and the rest each fulfill their roles admirably. The Old Ones can rest easy after watching this one.
I hope Turkie becomes a regular holiday villain. The one-liners he spouts are absurd, even when compared to the worst of the genre, and as a murderer he's a straightforward kind of guy. In many horror movies the script treats the villain with some sort of reverence, treating Jason or Freddy like the coolest guy ever. ThanksKilling takes that villain worship to the next level, with Turkie's apparent ability to make people forget that he's a turkey. At one point he shows up wearing a skin mask of a dead character's face, and none of the kids catch on at all.
The writing in the movie is probably best described as irreverent. The dialogue is filthy in the vein of the best b-list exploitation horror movies, with plenty of cursing and sex acts. The gore effects are practical and over the top, which is perfect for this movie.
The Bad
The budget and acting will probably be enough to turn a lot of people away, which is understandable, considering the movie feels like it was made for $3,500. At one point Billy hallucinates a roast turkey on the side of the road which looks like a literal piece of clip-art on the screen. The tipi is a bed sheet on a broom stick. The actual quality of the footage is really low.
Though it feels aware enough of the tropes of the genre, throughout I was wondering how much of it was actually intentional, because certain decisions felt like mistakes, including some aspects of the score. I'm willing to give the movie the benefit of the doubt, but I can imagine some wouldn't.
The Rest
ThanksKilling 3 was successfully kick-started, which I'm fine with.
This feels distinctly like a movie I would have made with my friends in high school or college.
Should You Watch It?
If you can deal with very low quality and effort, then this is definitely worth a try. At just over an hour long you don't lose much and with the right group of people I think it's a great addition to a holiday movie stable.
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