Bad Movie Month #20: Eragon

Stop me if you've heard this one.

Eragon (2006)

Directed by: Stefen Fangmeier
Produced by: John Davis, Adam Goodman, Gil Netter
Written by: Peter Buchman
Budget: $100,000,000

Starring: Edward Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory, Robert Carlyle, Djimon Hounsou, Garrett Hedlund, Joss Stone, Rachel Weisz (voice), John Malkovich

We start with a princess and her honor guard racing to deliver a stolen prize to the resistance when their party is ambushed by the evil emperor's right hand man, who successfully captures the princess, but not before she can safely hide her cargo. The stolen item is discovered by a young farm boy in a remote location, and soon after his not-parents are murdered by agents of the empire. He teams up with the last remaining member of an ancient order, discovers his ability to harness their forgotten powers, and helps the rebellion fight off the empire and the empire's second-in-command.

No, it's not Star Wars, it's Eragon.

Adapted from the first book of the Inheritance Trilogy Cycle, Eragon tells the hero's journey beat by beat. Specifically, it's like Star Wars with dragons, only worse. Production was announced in February 2004, less than two months after Return of the King raked in the cash, and I can't help but feel like this was a cheap cash grab based off a similar fantasy series.

The Good
One thing this movie and The Last Airbender have in common is that they both have some beautiful environments. Eragon was shot in various locations around Hungary and Slovakia, with some impressive mountains and forests. You know, like a fantasy movie should have because that's what the other ones did.

The CGI for the dragon still holds up in most places, even when compared to modern CGI. Saphira moves pretty naturally, and it's obvious that a huge part of the budget went towards the creation of the character. Considering Industrial Light and Magic did the CGI, that's not much of a surprise.

The Bad
If you've watched a fantasy movie or read a book before you can probably guess exactly how this story will progress. The original author was 17 when he wrote the story, and not much has changed in its adaptation to film. There's an evil emperor who slaughtered the members of his ancient order to rise to power, the young farm boy destined for greatness, the mentor who dies in furthering his protege's course of action, the rebellion fighting their last stand against an encroaching government...let's just say that anything new the books did with the story was erased in the movie.

It doesn't help that most of the cast seems to play it as a comedy. Malkovich plays the evil emperor Galbatorix, and his very first line inspires laughter. Jeremy Irons, in his first fantasy film since the Dungeons & Dragons movie, puts some effort into his character but most of the time it feels like a competition between the two to see who can chew the most scenery. Speleers is a huge weak spot, with his Eragon appearing to be a pouting puppy dog. Carlyle, Hedlund, and Guillory round out the main characters, and though the first two seem to know exactly what type of movie this is Guillory tries so hard to be an action chick, but we hardly see her do anything to support it. The one scene that evokes any sort of response from me is Irons as Brom on his last flight before he dies, which is funny because it's a scene with zero lines.

Even the spectacle is ruined by the cheap effects. You would think that an epic fantasy movie with this type of budget would splurge on the CGI, and while the dragon looks good the rest of the movie looks really, really cheap. The costumes and sets look like Ye Olde Renaissance Faire props, the lighting makes no sense (particularly in outdoor areas), and the special sword looks like plastic with red paint on it. At one point a bad guy gets picked up by a branch and you can immediately see that it's a dummy because its arms remain straight down along its sides while it's getting whipped around. The design sticks it pretty firmly in the "campy" fantasy movie territory, with lots of black leather, "cool" weapon designs, and cruddy fight choreography disguised by quick camera cuts and spins.

Some effects that stood out as particularly cheap:
Dragon vision is a yellow filter overlaid on the footage.
Durza "dying" is accomplished by having a still image of a smiling Carlyle fade into smoke.
Durza's makeup keeps changing as the movie goes on, and not in a way that's internally consistent.
The ra'zac look worse every time you see them.
The battle at the end supposedly takes place in a huge mountain valley, but all we see is the same 40-foot wide soundstage.

Now back to the writing. The script does very little to evoke any emotion from the audience, and despite the score nothing really makes you feel anything other than bewilderment at certain story choices. In order to save time the dragon grows to full size by flying through the clouds. Storylines incredibly relevant to later parts of the novel's plot are removed entirely, which end up creating plot holes within the first film itself. The dialogue shifts between standard fantasy-lite, awkward stage theater, and hilariously cringe-worthy within the same scene.

The Rest
There's pretty much zero chance of a sequel for this, though I have to wonder when we'll get a second attempt at an adaptation. It seems inevitable, but maybe we just need another few years for the bad taste to fade.

Should You Watch it?
No, especially if you're a fan of the book. Unlike The Last Airbender this isn't even entertainingly bad.