Mediocre Movie Month 2016: Some Thoughts on "True Memoirs of an International Assassin"

True Memoirs of an International Mall Blart

True Memoirs of an International Assassin (2016)

Directed by Jeff Wadlow
Produced by Justin Begnaud, Raja Collins, Mark Fasano, Todd Garner
Written by Jeff Morris, Jeff Wadlow, Story by Jeff Morris

Starring Kevin James, Zulay Henao, Andy Garcia, Maurice Compte, Kelen Coleman, Andrew Howard, Rob Riggle

Budget: $40M (estimated)

I'm not a big Kevin James fan. I don't dislike him, but I've never found his stand-up very funny and I've certainly never enjoyed the majority of his film roles. Part of that can be attributed to the fact that he's one of Adam Sandler's main collaborators, and he's turned into a hack (who still makes money, but since when is that how you set the bar?). How often can you laugh at a big guy throwing himself around while making a dumb face?

All things considered, this movie surprised me.

We start with an action scene reminiscent of Bourne, with James playing a secret agent as he infiltrates a dock in pursuit of some bad guys. There's some good gunplay and fair fight choreography, and then he gets blown up by a rocket, leaving only a red smear and some limbs.

Cut to James in front of a computer, typing up a spy novel. We see the same scene replay, with some minor revisions as he works to make sure his character escapes the action scene. There's a fairly well done knife fight, a helicopter action scene, and some explosions.

You see, James is playing a writer who's working on an action novel. As he revises his work we see the changes play out, and within the first five minutes I've already doubted whether this should be included in this series.

Because honestly, this movie is not that bad. I was consistently surprised, from the opening to the ending to when I looked up the reviews and saw it had a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

This might be the best movie Kevin James has ever done.

James plays aspiring novelist Sam Larson. He's finishing up a spy novel about a suave, wish-fulfillment secret agent who kills the bad guys and gets the girls. Most of his research is accomplished through the internet and his ex-Mossad analyst buddy Amos (Ron Rifkin). Thanks to a story about a legendary assassin known only as "The Ghost," he finishes up his manuscript and sends it out to publishers. After numerous rejections he meets up with digital publisher Kyle Applebaum (Coleman) who buys the story and publishes it online...

...Under the non-fiction category. It suddenly becomes a best-seller, netting him an appearance on Katie Couric's show, and soon he's confused for the real Ghost, kidnapped, and taken to Venezuela as part of a CIA plot to assassinate the nation's president.

Now, I'll fully admit to this holding some value as wish fulfillment as a story itself. We see Larson utilize his writing research into covert operations to survive as he meets up with other members of the clandestine organizations within the country who all seem to want something from this master assassin who looks like a tubby guy from Queens.

As I said above, I was consistently surprised throughout. This is Kevin James actually acting; the movie doesn't rely on slapstick over story, the supporting cast is treating it seriously (Andy Garcia is having the time of his life and Rob Riggle is far better utilized here than in Greek Wedding 2) and there's very little of the awful humor I've come to expect from James. I guess it's more a sign of how much his collaborations with Adam Sandler have tainted my expectations. The action scenes and gunplay aren't over the top, don't feature dozens of cuts, and the story, while mostly predictable, shows some restraint where I didn't expect. It reminded of Red in more than a few spots, and that was a masterful blend of comedy and spy action.

Of course, it's not perfect. The ending drags on a bit. While there are funny moments, there are some times where it relies on James's size to make you laugh. The story, while fairly coherent, relies a bit too much on twists so the humor becomes lost in the series of similar characters, and certain twists aren't so much twists as obvious foreshadowing.

The...Actually Pretty Tolerable?

"Dylan, your standards for comedy are too high why can't you
just enjoy the movie."

Part of this is probably my own background as a writer, but I like the idea of a novelist using his
research to survive. It never gets to the point where James is absurdly good at outwitting these special agents, and it never stoops so low as to make him an idiot (I'm looking at you, Paul Blart, you hack).

Most important, I actually liked Larson. He's tired of his job. He's got aspirations beyond his day job. He's not mean-spirited in the way that so many of these movies can be. When he's taken advantage of by the publisher, he felt realistically upset that they'd messed up his novel. Most importantly, while there's definitely some aspects of a power fantasy here, James doesn't end up with the attractive woman at the end. Of all the writing decisions in this script, I think I appreciated that one the most.

It also utilized the supporting cast fairly well. Garcia does a great job as the revolutionary leader El Toro, Riggle puts in a fine performance playing the same type of overly-cocksure authority figure as a CIA guy, and Kim Coate's world-weary CIA plant of a president is believably tired of all the nonsense that came with having the government handed to him. Henao does a good job as the no-bullshit DEA agent in the south, and her chemistry with James is pretty good.

The Expectedly Tiresome
While there's some more-clever-than-usual story turns, the overall plot still relies on some of the classic tired tropes. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that an early character turns out to be exactly who you think he is by the end. There's some bizarrely up-front product placement for Zima, of all things, and at times the story tries too hard to be clever and shuffles itself up a bit too much.

Finally, the ending drags a bit. That's not really unusual in this day and age, but it's worth mentioning.

The Unusual
The director of this movie is going to direct X-Force in 2017, which will apparently feature Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. If that doesn't get you hyped, get out of my face.

He's also going to write Masters of the Universe in 2018, which generates significantly less hype.

The Verdict
I actually enjoyed this movie. It's not a brilliant comedy by any means, but I was genuinely surprised when I saw critics universally panned it. It's not insulting. It's not lazy. It has heart to it, and it's obvious the people involved in the production actually gave a damn.