Bad Movie Month #07: Mantera

Is "Man, Tera-ble" too obvious?

Mantera (2012)

Directed by: Mohd Aliyar Ali Kuthy, Miza Mohamad (Co-directed by Azmer Shazly Norazhar and Roman Doronin)
Produced by: Flare Studios, Miza Mohamad, Mohd Rafa'e Abdullah, Khairul Anuar Mohd. Ariff, Azmer Shazly Norazhar, Spacetoon Media Hub (M), Fayez Weiss al-Sabbagh, Sharifah Hendon al-Yahya
Written by: Miza Mohamad, Khairul Anuar Mohd. Ariff, Azmer Shazly Norazhar
Budget: $4,000,000 (estimated)

Starring: Tomok Shah Indrawan, Kamaliya, Mikhail Dorojhkin

Mantera has sat in my Netflix queue since I first saw the poster and its single star rating. I had never quite worked up the courage to watch this little foreign film and thought this would be a great opportunity.

Azman is a normal kid living it up in Malaysia: getting bullied, playing video games, and fixing cars with his bro, bro. But when a mysterious package is delivered which turns out to be an alien (maybe?) motorcycle/mech-suit, Azman finds himself caught in a war between the forces of the Alliance of Light and the Dark Legion, because he's the chosen one.

Mantera is a Malaysian action film which takes parts from probably dozens of other movies which closely rides the line between so bad it's good and so bad it's bad. Is it fair to judge a foreign science fiction film by American standards? Maybe not, but there are certain aspects to movie-making which determine the quality of a film independent of its nation of origin, and Mantera doesn't quite fulfill all of them.

The Good
Certain effects look alright when the specific shots don't last too long. The first scene where Azman tries the glove and helmet on is perfectly fine as a memory-upload sequence.

The choreography in the Iron Man finale is fine, with a combination of robot-sword-fighting and martial arts. To go along with this some of the robot designs aren't too bad.

Certain shots are handled well. At one point Azman, wearing Mantera, is hit by a bus. When it comes time to show the damage the reveal is done through a slow pan up to show the huge dent in the vehicle. It's a nice touch, and I wish the rest of the movie had been done this well.

The Bad
The majority of these actors either have zero experience or aren't actually actors. Special mention goes to Kamaliya, who plays Doctor Natasha with lazy line reading, subpar physical acting, and the emotional output of Dolph Lundgren. Turns out she was actually Mrs. World in 2008, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

The movie feels dated by about 15-20 years in most aspects. There's the nerdy character with a pack of potentially homicidal bullies who combine their baseballs bats with names like "Ass-man." The main character uses his video game knowledge to save the day, there's an evil overlord who strokes his chin with menace and even a male shopping montage.

The dubbing is really, really...weird. I'm not going to say it's bad, but it's definitely distracting, as some scenes have the actors lip-syncing the English dialogue well enough, while others are obviously dubbed over the actors speaking their own language...but sometimes they lip a line or two in English before it falls out of sync.

When the movie transitions to an action scene it's not much better. The robot designs, while fine on their own, look like something out of the Star Wars Clone Wars television series. Their movements are jerky and don't have any weight behind them, which serves to make the animations look even cheaper. This is also partially a fault of the choreography, which, while passable, doesn't hold up too well when combine with the CG. It felt like I was watching a video game cutscene whenever there was a robot fight on screen.

The ending is absurd sequel bait, to the point where nothing seems very accomplished. It feels like it ends during the climax, and actually ends on the same shot as when it opened. Alongside this I'm fairly certain that in some of the back-and-forth dialogue scenes they reused footage for the actor's responses.

The Rest
It was fun to watch this and see if I could identify everything that had been done in better movies.

Should You Watch it?
Honestly...I feel like this is another one where you should get a group together, get some beers, and watch it for comedy's sake. While the first half hour or so drags a bit, the movie grew on me any time there was action on screen, from Curly Minion's hilarious attempt at being Bourne to Colonel Ayman and his exposition-montage which seems to claim Mantera goes back to the dawn of humanity?

So yeah, with the right group Mantera is probably worth the 90 minutes it'll take to watch. Enjoy the bizarre production choices and totally radical, bro, dialogue.

Bad Movie Month #06: Left Behind (2014)

"Huh?"

Left Behind (2014)

Directed by: Vic Armstrong
Produced by: Michael Walker, Paul LaLonde
Written by: Paul LaLonde, John Patus
Budget: $16,000,000

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chad Michael Murray, Cassi Thomson, Nicky Welan, Jordin Sparks

"Left Behind" is the second attempt to adapt the titular novel series to the big screen, this time with a significantly larger budget but far smaller chance of sequels.

The Steele family is falling apart; Raymond (Cage) is an adulterous airline pilot who can't seem to make things right. Irene (Lea Thompson) is a loving mom, but has recently become a born-again Christian. Their daughter, Chloe (Thomson) has only her younger brother Raymie to relate to.

But when a large percentage of the population vanishes one day, Ray must find a way to land his plane and keep the remaining people alive. Down on the surface, Chloe searches for her brother.

Oh, and Chad Michael Murray plays an investigative journalist, but I'd forgotten about him.

Anyway, lots of people, including every kid, vanishes and things go to crap.

I haven't read the original series, but I am familiar with it (Wikipedia synopses, what what) and most of the major plot points. When I heard the Cage was gonna lock up the main role in this movie, I was surprised. The Left Behind series consists of sixteen main novels, some graphic novels, and Left Behind Kids (I'm not sure if that's the official name), so I was a little skeptical at why someone like Cage would sign on for what would presumably be a long franchise. Yeah, turns out he only signed on for this one and it appears the sequel won't be happening anytime soon.

This movie is absolutely an attempt to cash in on the name of the series. The acting is bad, the writing is mediocre, and a lot of it feels like filler.

The Good
The actual Rapture (oh, spoilers) aftermath isn't bad. People start looting, there's chaos, and at one point Thomson walks past a news ticker reading things like "FIRES BURN OUT OF CONTROL" continuously, which is actually pretty funny.

Cage makes a fair show of emotion when he first gets back in contact with his daughter.

The Bad
While some of the scenes are handled with an alright touch, most of the movie is poorly put together. The acting itself feels wrong from the start, ranging from the scandalously gossiping flight attendants to Lea Thompson's incredibly goofy portrayal of a born-again Christian mother. Whenever the movie requires someone actually act as opposed to react, the performances dip. Dialogue is exchanged with the genre of each line changing. The best performance in the movie comes from the no-named junkie character talking to herself in the bathroom, trying to convince herself it's a bad trip.

The score feels like it was assembled from whatever could be found for cheap. There's a single licensed song over the credits, the street-dancers at the mall dance to what sounds like a sample beat, and an attempt to juxtaposition the Rapture aftermath with uprising, semi-religious sounding tones doesn't work.

Probably the worst part of this movie is how truly...reduced it feels. In what was no doubt an attempt to pull from all major demographics, the religious overtones from the original were reduced to a few generic lines. The religious crowd won't get anything out of this, because there's simply not enough. In a similar way, the areligious crowd will still avoid it, either based on the name or because there's nothing to scoff at while watching. As a thriller it has very little to offer aside from very mild versions of scenes from far better movies. Not even mega-fans of Cage will enjoy this, as it's one of his more unremarkable performances.

I realized after making this that it's been done before.

The Rest

Cage pulls out a family photo after the Rapture, and I half-expected Lea Thompson to fade out of it.

Should You Watch It?
There's not really any reason to. Maybe if you wanted to punish your kids.

If you want a better "Rapture," go watch Leftovers on HBO or "This is the End."

Bad Movie Month #05: Gigli

Joke's on you, Batman.

Gigli (2003)

Directed by: Martin Brest
Produced by: Martin Brest, Casey Silver
Written by: Martin Brest
Budget: $75,600,000

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha

Larry Gigli (Affleck), an enforcer for the mob, is ordered by his superiors to kidnap the mentally challenged younger brother of a federal prosecutor. After successfully kidnapping the brother, Brian (Bartha), Gigli learns that he'll be gaining a partner on his job: another enforcer who calls herself Ricki.

Gigli, being Affleck, tries to put the moves on Ricki, only to simmer in resentment when she reveals that she's a lesbian.

Wacky events happen, seriously dark moments happen, and it goes on for far too long.

"Gigli" has a reputation as a bad movie, and for good reason. The film had some heavy publicity on its release because "Bennifer" was the cultural relationship of import at the time, though that stopped it from earning any sort of return. The acting between the involved leads is bizarrely passionless, the tone goes all over the place, and it drags like you wouldn't believe.

Apparently the director and the studios butted heads continuously over pretty much everything and supposedly there were rewrites made to cash in on the celebrity relationship. Considering this was the last thing Brest has directed, and compared to the rest of his work, I wonder what Brest originally meant for this one.

The Good
It reminded me of the episode of South Park, "Fatt But and Pancake Head," and sometimes that made me chuckle.

The Bad
First, this movie is far longer than it needed to be. Gigli feels like a 30 minute concept dragged all the way out to two hours. Every scene feels like it's minutes longer than it needs to be, with multiple shots of people's faces staring. There's something to be said for decompression, but you have to have some weight behind it. At least make the characters interesting so I can enjoy the parts where they talk. Unfortunately, they aren't and I don't.

This was Justin Bartha's first major role. I don't know how he recovered from this and got the part in National Treasure. His portrayal of "brain damaged" is just as tasteful as you'd expect. Lopez and Affleck seem like they've had their respective dials set to 30%. Nothing on screen comes together in a way that affects me emotionally, and that's partially because the tone between scenes will change drastically from comedy to romance to dark mobster film.

There's nothing endearing about Affleck's character, and it reminds me why no one liked him for a really, really long time. It felt really strange watching this so soon after DC released their new trailer for Bats v Supes.

The movie and its characters are offensive to everyone, and I don't think it's appropriate in this case to say that it was a product of its time. Friends was a product of its time. This is a movie forgetting to make the oaf a loveable one.

The Rest
I could see this plot as a Cohen Brothers movie, maybe. If the script was rewritten so it wasn't garbage and the actors replaced by competent ones.

I feel like Mac from Always Sunny would enjoy this movie.

Should You Watch It?
No, but that was never going to not be the answer.  Let's be real here.

Bad Movie Month #04: In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds

I feel like I've seen this poster before.

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (2011)

Directed by: Uwe Boll
Produced by: Dan Clarke, Chawn Williamson
Written by: Michael C. Nachoff
Budget: $4,500,000

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Natassia Malthe, Lochlyn Munro

In 2011 Dolph Lundgren was going through a divorce and needed some quick cash.

Uwe Boll is a German director and producer known for using German tax laws to finance his consistently underperforming films. He is known primarily for adapting video games to the big screen. His highest rated film on Rotten Tomatoes is "Assault on Wall Street" at 25%, and his lowest is "Alone in the Dark" with 1%. This film doesn't actually have a Tomatometer ranking. It's been interesting following Boll's career, from the times he boxed his critics to the time a petition asking him to retire went around the internet. It actually received 535,835 signatures before it was shut down.

But this isn't about Uwe Boll.

When ex Special Forces soldier Granger gets yanked through time to the ruined Kingdom of Ehb, he finds himself proclaimed the Chosen One by a prophecy decreeing him free the kingdom from the Dark Ones led by the Holy Mother. As his quest progresses, Granger learns that things may not be as they seem.

The Good
Throughout the movie I thought the poster was lying about the dragon. I didn't think there was any way this movie would actually show anything like that, and I was half right. To my supreme surprise, there was indeed a dragon in the movie, and its implementation was...actually not bad. The CGI for the dragon was...adequate, though the design reminded me of a bird, and not in a good way. One thing that impressed me was the apparent use of a flame-thrower to simulate the dragon's point of view. I can appreciate the effort for that.

Underneath all the crap (not gonna bother hiding it, this movie isn't good) there's the hints of something that could have been a fun lampshade of the sent-back-in-time story. Certain scenes at least have underlying ideas which, had it been directed by someone with ability, would have worked. The fight choreography is similar, with certain segments where it's quite passable.

The movie was filmed in British Columbia, so the landscape is actually really pretty. The establishing shots are the best directed scenes in this movie.

Hey, at least it's not In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission.

The Bad
Someone should have let the screenwriter that we were over cliche medieval dialogue, even in 2011. The names for everything are capitalized phrases: Chosen One, Dark Ones, Time Beyond. There is a single use of the word "Thy," which is one above Boll's allowable uses. Characters from the same place speak in different accents and even vernacular. The doctor in particular has some lines which feel wildly out of place. Ultimately it feels like a cheap attempt to get the setting across.

This is made worse by the actors either putting their all into the terrible script or delivering their lines in exaggerated, goofy ways. Lundgren knows exactly why he's there and doesn't expend any more effort than is strictly necessary for any particular. Lochlyn Munro looks like he's just a second away from twirling his invisible mustache. Aleks Paunovic delivers an adequate (there's that word again) battle speech and death scene, but it's ruined when he quite obviously throws his arms out to catch himself when he falls.

Natalia Guslistaya and Natassia Malthe both seem to be actively fighting the goofiness of the script and deliver their lines with all the sincerity they can muster. Malthe in particular seems like she's trying to make the script better through her delivery, but there are limits. The seer seems like she's trying to channel a Raimi possession, but sounds like she's reciting from cue cards.

There were shades of the 80s and 90s in how this movie handled violence. There would be a sword chop or a spear thrust, then a cut to the person holding the weapon to the wound or falling to the ground. Combined with the shaky camera work the fight scenes, which actually have alright choreography, end up being boring.

It's actually fairly funny to listen to people keep referring to their "fort" as a "fortress." The setting, constructions, and most of the costumes look like cheap renaissance fair props. Most of the extras are wearing generic dark hoods and cloaks, and even the main characters have a single outfit each. Dolph Lundgren doesn't even get an "armor up" scene. Hell, the king's crown is obviously plastic.

Did that plot synopsis up top seem generic? That's because the story here is so contrived that they don't even set up the twist before twisting us. Turns out Granger is secretly the true king of Ehb, and the Holy Mother left him at that orphanage. What orphanage? I don't know, it's never mentioned before that scene. The only way this movie can even twist us properly is by never setting it up in the first place.

It also feels like they ran out of time while shooting (or potentially writing) the ending. Immediately after drowning Raven in his bathtub Granger sits down, has a drink, and laments the fact that he can never return to Ehb. That's when the movie ends, roughly thirty seconds after drowning the bad guy. There is a shot of the portal-bracelet glowing, then the credits roll.

This movie is a sequel to a video game adaptation which hardly used the source material. Just saying.

The Rest
I wonder how much of the budget went to the dragon. I'd be interested to figure out how its salary compared to the rest of the cast.

Should You Watch it?
Nope. There are some moments which are worth a chuckle, but let's be honest that's not high praise for a Boll movie.

Bad Movie Month #03: Skyline

Ironically, "Don't look up Skyline" is
pretty good advice.

Skyline (2010)

Directed by: The Brothers Strouse
Produced by: The Brothers Strouse, Kristian Andresen, Liam O'Donnell
Written by: Joshua Cordes, Liam O'Donnell
Budget: $10,000,000 (estimated)

Starring: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, Brittany Daniel, Crystal Reed, David Zayas, Donald Faison

Skyline is a perfectly forgettable alien invasion movie with a dumb title, mediocre acting, and poor writing sprinkled with some good ideas and admittedly great design work, which is unfortunately lost in the muddle.

Jarrod (Balfour) and his pregnant girlfriend Elaine (Thompson) visit Jarrod's successful VFX designer friend Terry (Faison) in his Los Angeles high-rise for a night of partying and reconnection. When strange blue lights descend from the sky and people start to vanish, this group of unlikable and forgettable folks argue with each other against the backdrop of a brutal alien invasion.

I distinctly remember seeing the trailer for Skyline in theaters. It consisted primarily of the blue lights descending, alien ships appearing, and shots of tiny figures getting sucked up into the sky. It was eerie, and seemed like a fresh take on alien invasion stories. Unfortunately, like Man of Steel, Skyline is another film better experienced as a trailer.

The movie feels like an attempt to make a Cloverfield-style Alien invasion movie (minus the shaky-cam) where the main characters are directly affected by the action but have to instead work out their problems as the world breaks down around them. It's a story I generally appreciate far more than its counterpart (in this case the equally mediocre Battle: Los Angeles), but in this case it doesn't quite work.

The Good
It's obvious that the Brothers Strouse are visual effects artists. The alien design is actually some of my favorite from any recent invasion movies with some really good, truly alien aliens. Tentacles, gnashing teeth, glowing asymmetrical eyes, and the mish-mash of biological and technological aspects make the creatures feel distinctly alien.

The film does a fair job of making the invasion feel like you're experiencing it with the main characters. You don't have any exposition scenes where someone describes exactly why they're on earth, you don't have anyone say "They're weak to this!" Instead all the information is delivered visually, when you see them pop some heads and suck out people's brains for use as batteries. This also justifies why the aliens traveled (presumably) several light-years: while resources are available on any old space rock, brains and sentient species are also presumably rare. Of course, this brings up the question of what they used to power their stuff before earth, but it's always assumed that Earth is just a single stop on the alien train-harvest.

David Zayas plays the best character in the movie, Oliver, AKA Tubby Concierge. I don't remember anyone actually calling him Oliver, but he's by far the most reasonable, competent guy in the movie. His arguments all make sense in the context of the film, and he delivers the best line in the movie: "Vaya con dios, you son of a bitch."

The final assault on the mothership by the air force is actually one of my favorite scenes from recent alien invasion movies. The desperation as you watch fighter jets escort a stealth bomber into bombing range is palpable, and it hints at what Skyline could have been in the hands of a more competent team. It also feeds into my favorite thing about the movie, which is that humanity gets curbstomped and loses the invasion, and presumably gets wiped out at the end. The story plays with your expectations and the tropes of the genre, which is something I wish more films would do.

The Bad
The acting and writing is passable at best, laughable at worst. The only truly memorable characters are Tubby Concierge, because he's a hero, and Terry, because he's Donald Faison. Everyone else is shades of techie and unlikable, and watching them die one by one didn't have much of an effect on me as an audience. Donald Faison does his best to leave Turk behind, but considering this movie was released just half a year after Scrubs season 9 it's still too soon.

The movie turns fairly campy whenever you see an alien pop a brain from someone's head and snack on it like a jawbreaker. Each time it happened the brain was animated in a way that reminded me of the video game Destroy All Humans! from the early 00's, which was distracting at best and comical at worst. Attempts to be brutally violent were undermined by the goofiness of watching an alien tentacle plug a brain in like a battery.

The movie does not have a consistent tone throughout, and it just gets worse as the movie goes on. The bro-doucheness of the beginning is interrupted by attempts at characterization (pregnancy is easy characterization!) and our main characters treating each other like crap. Then you have the campy brain-eating, the hopeless counter-attacks, and the action ending, and the movie is a mashup of differing tones and temperatures that don't mesh.

In particular the last scene and the still shots during the credits feel like they belong in a different movie. Jarrod, in control of an alien mech-beast, rescues his pregnant girlfriend and retreats into the bowels of the mothership, and it's treated like a triumphant victory despite the fact that humanity as a whole is essentially gone and, let's be honest, there's pretty much zero chance they'll survive for very long.

There is a sequel in production titled Beyond Skyline which entered production in December 2014. The same team is writing, producing, and directing, and it's starring Frank Grillo (Captain America: Winter Soldier), Bojana Novakovic (Devil), and Iko Uwais (The Raid). This feels like a huge mistake, as one of the things I really liked about Skyline was that it was a singular story about how humanity lost an alien invasion. According to Wikipedia there is a human resistance, which feels tonally inconsistent with what was shown in this movie. I can't help but feel like it'll be a repeat of the sequel to Monsters, which took an introspective (and far better) alien movie and turned it into action schlock.

The Rest
During production Sony announced it was contemplating legal action against the directors because their company, Hydraulx Filmz had been hired to do the CGI for their own film Battle: Los Angeles. Ultimately nothing came of it, probably because Skyline had obviously been in production for long enough and there wasn't any rule against having two mediocre alien invasion movies releasing within six months of each other.

The physical production budget for Skyline was only $500,000, mostly because the majority of the filming took place inside the high-rise owned by one of the directors, and it doesn't exactly have any big superstars attached to it. Considering the end budget was $10-20 million, it's no wonder the CGI and design are by far the best aspects of the movie.

Should You Watch it?
...eh.
This is a tough one because I would first call Skyline forgettable than bad. If you can't get enough alien invasion movies and have exhausted your other options this might be worth it for the alien design and CGI alone until...whenever we get another big budget alien invasion release...Independence Day 2? 2016 looks like a grim year for alien movies.

But Skyline is most definitely not a good movie. While it is not inept, the acting, writing, and directing all leave something to be desired, and when you can only recall a single specific line (the obvious trailer one-liner) it's a sign that something is missing.

Ultimately, Skyline is mostly forgettable, and for a movie in a genre known for recycling, that might be one of the worst things you can be.

Bad Movie Month #02: WolfCop

Not to be taken seriously.

WolfCop (2014)

Directed by: Lowell Dean
Produced by: Bernie Hernando, Deborah Marks, Danielle Masters, Hugh Patterson
Written by: Lowell Dean
Budget: CAD 1,000,000 (estimated)

Starring: Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Jonathan Chery

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
You know you're in for a treat when this is the first caption that shows up over animated pentagrams, guns, and cloaked figures.

After watching this for the first time I thought it was a mistake to include it on this list. WolfCop is just too good.

When deadbeat Sergeant Lou Garou becomes the victim of a horrific curse, he finds himself transforming into a terrifying half-man, half-wolf hybrid. So what is a lycanthrope to do when grisly murders begin in his small, backwoods Canadian town?

Solve the crimes, that's what.

This film was suggest to me by a coworker, and right up front I will say that I don't think this is a bad movie in any way. While it is not a masterpiece of cinema, I do think WolfCop is a perfect example of a modern B movie which will earn well-deserved cult status.

Many bad movies are horror movies, simply due to the fact that horror films can be produced with relatively low budgets. The Blair Witch Project, Saw, and Paranormal Activity are all examples of how low-budget horror films can earn huge returns (Paranormal Activity 1 was a record-setter). However, that also leaves you with dozens of low-budget horror movies which were made with very little skill or talent behind the production. There are way, way too many to list here.

So what makes WolfCop work? It's most definitely the fact that the creators took their premise and didn't take it too seriously. This movie plays up all the right tropes, handles its ideas well, and knows when to trade the creepy in for the goofy.

The Good
The transformation stuff is executed well, which is definitely something you need for a movie like this. If the changing stuff was poorly done then the movie wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable. While the small budget is most definitely noticeable, the direction handles it far better than even high budget super hero movies (I'm looking at you, Amazing Spider-man 2). Fair warning, there is some nudity but I'm not going to spoil exactly what.

WolfCop has one of the only "library contains the supernatural answers" tropes which I've seen done well. While it's still a cheap solution it makes sense in this world and is actually played for laughs, which is something I haven't seen.

About halfway into the movie it goes off the rails and becomes something beautiful. Highlight for spoilers: There is a sex scene. Yes, Lou is in werewolf form when it happens.

The Bad
The acting isn't bad, but Leo Fafard doesn't put much into his performance. While I don't like Lou as  a character I feel like it's less me wanting him to improve his lot in life and more like me just wanting him to grow up. When he's more Wolf than Cop I love his performance, but ironically his human acting is subpar, and it doesn't feel intentional.

The directing isn't anything special, but at least it's competently made. There are some editing mistakes, like having a character look up from a camera multiple times (in a way that isn't played for laughs) which detract from it, but considering it was a crowdfunded indie film it's far better than it has any right to be.

The Rest
If a werewolf kills someone in wolf form and leaves some hair behind, will it read as human DNA during a lab test?

A sequel to Wolfcop has been successfully funded and is in production, with plans for release sometime in 2016. This is a good thing, as I believe the world needs more WolfCop.

Should You Watch it?
Yes, if you are at all a fan of B movies. Though there are some flaws and the acting is passable, this movie has more than enough to make up for it. It's got that campy, fun factor and feels like something that would fit in with any monster movie marathon.

Bad Movie Month #01: The Room

Gaze upon the face of madness.

The Room (2003)

Directed by: Tommy Wiseau
Produced by: Tommy Wiseau
Written by: Tommy Wiseau
Budget: $6 million

Starring: Tommy Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sestero

You probably expected this if you are at all familiar with bad movies.

Tommy Wiseau is a man of indeterminate origin who spent $6 million of his own money to produce one of the most noteworthy bad movies of all time.

The Room is the story of Johnny (Tommy Wiseau), a banker who lives in an apartment with his "future wife" Lisa (Juliette Danielle) in San Francisco. The two seem to have a loving relationship, though it soon becomes apparent that Lisa has become dissatisfied with the state of their relationship and yearns for something different. She starts an affair with Johnny's best friend, Mark (Greg Sestero) and the two have multiple covert encounters.

The film climaxes at Johnny's birthday party where, after growing suspicious of and eventually discovering the pair's indiscretions, Johnny confronts them. Lisa leaves and Johnny, distraught over the destruction of his friendships, commits suicide via handgun.

In between there are numerous scenes with varying relevance to the story, bizarre production and design choices, and some of the strangest line reads ever put to film.

The movie is a monument to the art of poor film making. It has been referred to as the Citizen Kane of bad movies. Let's break it down:

The dialogue is absurd in some places, flat in others, and often switches between lines. Critical information is relayed in casual conversation, deliveries are stilted across the board, and what should have been emotional outbursts are stated with all the enthusiasm you would expect from a high school assignment. Exchanges between characters often feel like the script was dissected and lines were randomly picked from a hat. Wiseau delivers his lines like he doesn't understand what he's written, and it's quite obvious that many of them have been dubbed, many of them quite poorly.

Multiple scene transitions are handled by utilizing b-roll of footage showcasing various San Francisco landmarks and streets with a score that sounds like something left at the bottom of the public domain. There is very little tonal consistency between the piano and flute melodies which stick out against the licensed tracks.

Plots and subplots appear and vanish with very little consistency. A single scene featuring Denny's confrontation with drug dealer Chris-R is swept away almost immediately after the gang reconciles on the rooftop. Despite he and Lisa having sex twice, Mark regularly reacts with confusion when she comes onto him. Claudette's breast cancer is given a single line. There are multiple scenes of the guys throwing a football around: in an alleyway, in a field, while wearing tuxedos. At one point during production the actor playing a certain character left, so they gave the character's pivotal lines during the climax to a different actor who had not appeared at any point earlier in the film.

Tommy Wiseau has been called an alien, a vampire, and it has been proposed that the entire project is a work of performance art from a very skilled comedian. After watching The Room I could see any of the three being true but I like to believe it's just an anomaly, one of those projects which comes about when someone with access to money manages to

The Room is very clearly a bad movie in many ways, but it is also an incredibly enjoyable watch and a perfect example of how a poorly made, poorly acted, and awkwardly written film can still be a fun experience.

The Good
Chris-R steals the show when he pulls a gun on Denny and gets taken to the police by Johnny and Mark. Lisa's tearful shouting, Claudette's stern, dismissive mothering, and Denny's pouting makes for one emotional whirlwind.

The Bad
Much of the entertainment comes within the first half hour as you adjust to the sudden mirror universe you have seemingly entered, but as the film drags on into its 99 minute run-time the numerous sex scenes and obvious ineptitude begin to wear away at the charm.

Have no doubt that this movie is ineptly made. When I say this is a bad movie, I mean this is a bad movie. The thing is, it is also an example of how even bad movies can be entertaining under the right circumstances.

The Rest
Greg Sestero wrote a book chronicling his experience making the movie called "The Disaster Artist" which goes in-depth into his experiences during production. There is currently an adaptation in development by Seth Rogan and James Franco, with Franco playing Wiseau.

Should You Watch It?
With a group. If you are at all a fan of bad movies, try and see if you can find a public screening. The movie has taken on aspects of the Rocky Horror fanbase, where the movie will play in a theater and the audience will dress up, quote along, etc.

I wouldn't really suggest watching it by yourself unless the reputation appeals to you. Having others around to experience it is far better than a solo watch.